What Do You Say First?
One introduction can lead to a defining opportunity, but the first few words may shape everything that follows.
When someone introduces you to a potential collaborator, it is natural to think about what the relationship might do for you.
The stronger approach is to begin by understanding the person in front of you: what matters to them, what they are building, and where you may be able to contribute.
The goal is not to immediately explain what you need. The goal is to create a meaningful connection before discussing an opportunity.
The Question That Changes the Conversation
“What are you currently working toward, and how can I support you?”
This simple question communicates confidence, curiosity, and genuine interest. It allows you to understand the other person before deciding whether there is an opportunity to collaborate.
When people feel heard and valued, trust begins to develop, and trust is the foundation of every meaningful professional relationship.
What If You Already Know This?
Knowing the right approach does not always mean we apply it instinctively.
Even experienced and accomplished leaders can respond from force of habit. In the moment, they may immediately describe what they need, present their idea, or ask for an introduction, without realizing how those first words may shape the relationship.
That does not make them ineffective leaders. It makes them human. Under pressure, we rarely rise to what we know. We often return to what we have repeatedly practiced.
Creating a different result requires awareness, intentional repetition, and the discipline to replace an automatic response with a more effective one.
A Better Way to Begin
Use this four-step approach when meeting a potential collaborator:
1. Connect
Begin with a genuine acknowledgment of the introduction.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’ve heard wonderful things about your work.”
2. Become Curious
Ask about their priorities before discussing your own.
“What are you most focused on growing or accomplishing right now?”
3. Contribute
Listen carefully and identify where your knowledge, experience, or relationships may offer genuine value.
“I may know someone you would enjoy connecting with.”
Or:
“I have experience in that area and would be glad to share what has worked for me.”
4. Continue the Relationship
Do not force an immediate transaction. Create a natural opportunity to reconnect.
“I enjoyed our conversation. Would you be open to continuing it next week?”
The Leadership Principle
The purpose is not to give endlessly, minimize your own goals, or avoid discussing business.
It is to:
Understand before asking.
Contribute before expecting.
Build trust before proposing an opportunity.
People may forget your title, credentials, or presentation, but they remember how they felt in your presence.
When you approach a new relationship with curiosity and a genuine desire to contribute, you demonstrate the qualities associated with exceptional leadership:
Confidence
Emotional intelligence
Strategic awareness
Generosity
Trustworthiness
Long-term thinking
That is how introductions become meaningful relationships, and how meaningful relationships become lasting collaborations.
Performance Is Built Through Practice
Irina Popa-Erwin learned early that knowing what to do and performing effectively under pressure are two different things.
As a former professional athlete and nine-time gold medalist, she experienced firsthand that exceptional performance is created through awareness, discipline, repetition, and expert guidance.
After being mentored by legendary business philosopher Jim Rohn, Irina carried those principles into more than 20 years of business leadership and professional coaching.
Today, she empowers executives, entrepreneurs, and high-performing professionals to recognize the subtle habits influencing their communication, leadership presence, relationships, and results.
Because lasting transformation does not come from simply knowing the right answer. It comes from practicing the right response until it becomes your natural response.
Before Your Next Introduction, Ask Yourself:
Am I entering this conversation thinking about what I need, or am I first seeking to understand where I can contribute?
That single shift can transform how people experience you, remember you, and choose to work with you.
What Could Change If Your Instinctive Responses Matched the Leader You Are Capable of Becoming?
Performance coaching with Irina Popa-Erwin provides the awareness, strategy, accountability, and consistent practice required to turn leadership knowledge into natural, repeatable behavior.
